February 21st--the day of our 7 week appointment for an early ultrasound to make sure this time around a little healthy heart was beating. This pregnancy was bringing much more sickness. Since 5 weeks along, I'd felt nauseous all day everyday. And although it sucked, we couldn't help but be happy about it because we felt it meant things were working differently this time. It was a very good sign to us. The day before our ultrasound, I started to have some relief and the nausea wasn't as bad. I remember Zach telling me he wanted me to feel sicker because he just did not want any surprises the next day. We couldn't help but think that feeling a little better could mean something was going wrong with our baby.
We went into the ultrasound feeling a little nervous because of this, but still very hopeful. As soon as the ultrasound was in place, the doctor was able to show us the healthy heart beat! It sounded so loud and strong and real. Such an absolute relief and I even started clapping I was so excited. We did it!! Our baby was alive and well. It felt so much more real hearing how alive it really was even just at 7 weeks. Almost a whole minute went by of looking around when the doctor just started laughing. She then said, "Well, there's another one!" I didn't understand at first because she was full on laughing and it just couldn't be true. But she was serious! She then showed us a second healthy heart beating from our baby number 2!!
The feelings in the room are so hard to describe. Pure genuine shock-WHAT?!? Denial-No that can't be possible. No you're kidding. Laughter-What the heck are we gonna do!? Fear-Can my body handle this? Are the babies going to be okay? Excitement-We get to experience two little cuties! Wait, what?!? I just kept looking over at Zach and saying, "Twins?? Twins!! Zach are you believing this?" It seriously couldn't have been more of a surprise to us as we do not have twins in our families. We never dreamed of having twins. The only time twins ever came up in conversation was in the context of a joke. And the reply to those jokes would always be, "not funny." It was not in our plan or vision of our future family. But here they were!! Ready or not. We had just learned that we would start our family by doubling it in size to be the parents of two little miracles.
After asking as many questions as I could think of in that moment of shock, we were out the door and on our way home. Wide eyes. Huge grins. Heads shaking. WE'RE HAVING TWINS!!
After the initial shock and thoughts of fear or worry, my heart is only full of absolute gratitude. I have overwhelming moments of love come over me where I have to stop what I'm doing and just thank my Heavenly Father for trusting us with such a miracle. I know this is going to be a crazy adventure, but I am so happy I am being chosen to live it. I feel so much love for my babies already. I am so excited to see them grow together as best friends and to always have each other. I am so excited for my heart to overflow with the love that caring for two babies is going to bring. I can't even imagine what it will feel like. I've vowed to myself to go through this journey as optimistic as I can. Hoping for the best. Praying for the best. And being patient with myself. Here we go :)
you go girl. love you!
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