Zach had to wear the 35 pound baby bump as he introduced us. One couple has a due date one day before us and it was comical to see our size difference!
Some highlights (kind of):
- watching a total of 3 different births in different situations. These completely freaked me out I'm not gonna lie. I'm sure it will be so different when it's actually me going through the pain, but sitting there watching it was more frightening (and gruesome and graphic and gross) than I'd hoped for. It is truly a miracle that our bodies can do what they do and bring a healthy baby into the world. At the end of each video when the mom shrieks with joy at the sight of her baby and looks so completely exhausted and relieved to be done-all I could think was, "and then I do it again". I wish there was a 'Birthing Twins' class to take for me to believe that it is possible. I want to give birth vaginally for both my babies if the circumstances make it possible, but I just worry about having the energy to go through it twice and hope that I can do it.
- practicing relaxation and breathing techniques with our 'coach'. Zach got a kick outta this because our teacher had our partners create fake contractions by finding pressure points and pinching them so we could practice the techniques. Lovely right? I'm happy to learn some breathing patterns though and also I'm going to keep practicing controlling my mind to focus on a 'happy place' to get through the contractions.
- learning my choices when it comes to drugs to help with the pain. I'd like to think that one day I can give a natural childbirth with no drugs, but for now I'm feeling mighty grateful that epidurals are invented. It's the one thing giving me peace of mind that I can get through this. Ideally I'll be able to go as long as I can without help, then get just enough relief to help me enjoy the process more without being completely numb/paralyzed by the drugs. I hope to be able to still feel the urges to push, etc. So I loved learning that they give you the smallest dose to start and that I will be in control with my own button to push to get more when I need it or not.
- learning about C-sections and the recovery that comes with it. I know that this is a real possibility for me with twins. The thought of being strapped down and also the fear of not being totally numb scare me. But it does almost sound more appealing not to have to go through all the other stuff sometimes...
- getting a hospital tour and learning where to go, seeing where we will be, what options we have within our rooms, etc. Right now one of the biggest things that make me nervous is that no matter what, I have to give birth in the operating room. With twins they want me in the operating room even if I am able to do a vaginal birth just in case it turns into an emergency c-section. I've been in the operating room before just once with my D&C and it just feels so cold and scary in there to me. It's so different than the warm inviting environment of the other birthing rooms.
As you can see I'm not feeling ready to go for it yet. I'm still super nervous about the birth and it's on my mind constantly. If I'm not able to fall asleep at night, I'm thinking about it. If I wake up in the night, I'm thinking about it. I just hope my babies give me a few more months to wrap my head around it all and get some more peace. I hope I'm not alone in feeling this way as a first time mom!
At least I know I've got the best 'coach' around who will be such an amazing support through it all. So blessed to have him. We enjoyed a gorgeous sunset that night that helped me feel so happy and forget about my worries for a while. Loved it!
So you're totally normal to be freaked out by birthing. And I'e always said, yes it's a beautiful thing, but when it comes down to it. Gross. Ew. They tried to get the mirror out for me to watch, and I was like, Get that thing OUT OF HERE!
ReplyDeleteNow I've only birthed one at a time. But what I've learned is this: your body knows what it's doing. I got epidurals with both, and still, it's like I just knew (and I didn't take a class). My guess is that birthing a second won't be totally horrible because your body will know; it will know that baby two's time has come and it will keep going.
All this to say: you can do it. Trust your body and your instincts, and you'll be just fine. :)
So I agree with everything my sister said, but I also had a bit of a different experience. :) If you guys have the time, I would suggest doing a natural birth class like Bradley Method or Hypnobirthing not because you want to go unmedicated, but because they teach you SO much about the whole birth process. It seems like everyone I hear that goes to the 1 day hospital class goes away scared of being in labor and I think that's sad cuz it really isn't scary. Painful, but not scary. My teacher (and I'm sure they're all that way) had been to oodles of hospital births, too, so she taught us all about what they do and what choices you'll need to make so you can be prepared ahead of time and not just be subject to whatever they do. I was freaked about the whole birth process too, but not after taking the classes. If you don't, though, I agree with Shauntel that your body will know what to do. And if you have a doctor you trust you'll be in good hands.
ReplyDeleteI think it i totally normal to have a little anxiety about the whole situation, but you should know that you have so much help surrounding you at all times who know what they're doing. The nurses and doctors aren't going to let anything bad happen. You and your babies are their number one priority. I read a book on hypnobirthing and practiced the breathing techniques, not because I HAD to have a natural birth, but just like you I also wanted to experience labor. When the time came, they really helped me get through the contractions even if I did end up getting an epidural in the end.
ReplyDeleteI also had to have a c-section in the end and although I would choose the natural birth over it any day (the recovery process is a lot longer), I still ended up with a healthy baby which is all that matters. And you will come out of the whole experience feeling like superwoman. so i guess the point I am trying to make is no matter which way you have to deliver,and no matter what happens, you will do amazing!!